I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wear drunk well.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
