About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
