Screwed.edu
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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