You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
