I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
