i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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