i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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