Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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