So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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