His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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