Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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