I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
