you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
