Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
