Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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