32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
