HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
