how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
