so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
its liver damage thursday
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
