On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
