So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
