I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize