come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Two words: blizzard sex
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize