sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
