In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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