my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
