AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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