I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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