Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
