I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
