It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
