I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He kissed a someone with a penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
