I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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