The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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