are you so shy because you have an std?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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