that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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