When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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