Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We're too hungover to prance.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
