i used baking grease as lip gloss
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
