Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
