One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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