"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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