Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
