So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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