Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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