im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
