Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
