She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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