not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize