Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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