Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
