i just wanna soil my oats bro
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
