I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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