24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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