R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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