you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
