That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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