Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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