What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
