Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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