I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
