..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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