sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
