Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
