I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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