i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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