I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize